3. Personal Change
The Master said, only the wisest and the most stupid do not change.
Confucius (early Chinese philosopher)
This area is not about changing your job, wallpaper, country or partner – it is about changing yourself; in other words, your habitual cognitive, emotional and behavioural patterns.
What do you want to change?
Being able to make a personal change is essential. So this chapter will be very practical and to get the most out of it, it may be a good idea to start by thinking about something that you would like to change. Choose something small because this increases your chances of success and confidence. Define what you want to achieve in simple, clear and positive terms (for example, rather than aiming to lose weight, aim to be fit or to look good).
Prerequisites for successful change
‘I can’, ‘I want’ and ‘I like’ are three conditions for successful change. If all three are present, you can hardly fail!
‘I can’: we are all capable of both failing and succeeding. If you believe that you can’t change, it is true; if you believe that you can, it is also true. To strengthen ‘I can’, think about successful changes that you have made in the past. If you can’t remember any, just consider that if others can change, you can change too.
‘I want’: you need to believe that the change is worth your time and effort. Filling in this table can help you make it clear: