Overthinking important decisions or situations is something we all do from time to time, but for some of us it can go to such extremes that it can really start to mess our life up.
It can keep us up at night for hours, playing reruns of the same film over and over again in our mind, or visualizing the worst possible scenarios of things soon to come. The tendency to overthink everything can even lead us down a treacherous path of anxiety and depression.
It’s like redlining a car’s engine with the parking brake pulled while the front wheels just spin in place. You burn out with a lot of smoke, but it gets you nowhere.
Overthinking is essentially being trapped in our own heads, overanalysing every little detail of a situation until we’re so far gone that we’re unable to take any action. When it gets really bad, it becomes what is called “paralysis by analysis”.read more
Many of us grew up on Disney movies and fairy tales and whether we realize it or not, they have greatly influenced our views on love at a very early and impressionable age. From Snow White and Cinderella to Beauty and the Beast, iconic fairy tales offer many subtle messages and lessons to be learned, but there is nearly always some type of love story at the heart of them.
Our young minds absorbed all the tales of princes and princesses until we internalized certain ideals of love and what our perfect relationship should look like, often believing that love always wins in the end no matter what. Then our teenage years and early adulthood came along and brought with them our first heartbreak, and everything we thought we knew about love came crashing down like a house of cards.
For most people, this is a learning experience we eventually get over and put behind us, but sometimes this can prove to be much more difficult. One heartbreak may be followed by another, until we begin to grow weary of love and start to develop a fear of intimacy. Perhaps you can identify with the above example, but childhood fairy tales are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how we develop our attitudes on love and intimacy as adults.
There are different reasons why people may struggle with intimacy in relationships, so let’s start from the beginning and take a look at what intimacy actually is.read more
Fear of public speaking is quite common. It affects many people, not only lecturers and public figures. Fear of public speaking can range from minor discomfort to paralysing fear when we face a situation that requires us to speak or present an idea in front of an audience. The ability to deliver a strong presentation or an enticing pitch goes a long way, particularly in the business world, and sometimes the only thing standing between you and success is fear.
Luckily, there are a number of things we can do to bring our fear of public speaking under control and deliver an effective presentation, and by doing so move forward in our professional as well as personal life.read more
Anger is linked to various health problems such as high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease, as well as increased cortisol levels which can weaken the overall efficiency of our immune system. Needless to say, a compromised immune system is the last thing you need during a pandemic.
So, let’s take a look at some of the ways we can deal with it.
During this time of lockdown due to the worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, our household has experienced varying levels of irritability. On one level this is unsurprising. We have all experienced profound changes to our routines, curbs on our freedoms and are unused to spending so much time together in one space.read more
The worldwide coronavirus pandemic is affecting all our lives, raising many questions. Will we, or our loved ones, get ill? Will we have enough money, and food to eat? How long will all this last, and what will be at the end of it? Nobody knows the answers to these questions, the situation changes daily.
We are living in a gaping hole of uncertainty, and uncertainty is the favourite breeding ground for anxiety. For all of us these are difficult times, but for people who suffer with anxiety this moment in time is very scary and can be crippling.read more
Boring. Boredom. What do these words mean? What is the feeling of boredom for? I was thinking about this as I vacuumed the stairs this morning. Vacuuming the stairs is a boring task. It is mindless and mechanical. It only takes five minutes, and yet I put it off, and off, and off… until the dust starts to gather in balls in the corners of each step. Why do I put off this task? Not because I don’t have the time – I can always find five minutes – but because it is boring.read more
This is something that has bothered me for a quite long time but a few recent situations have made me really worry. I recently met some old friends. As usual, we first inquired about each others’ present lives – health, job, kids, families, what other people we know are doing and so on. After a while the conversation naturally moved to old memories and funny situations from our youth. Everybody, of course, participated and enjoyed themselves. I did too, but … although I was definitely a part of many of these anecdotes, some I couldn’t recall at all. It is not that I couldn’t recall certain details – I could not remember anything at all! Some of these situations had been repeated over time (at least my friends said they had), but I wasn’t able to find them anywhere in my memory. Blank. Nothing! And in some of them I was not only involved, but I was the “leading actor”!read more
It’s September and that ‘back to school’ feeling is in the air. The light has changed and the plants are going to seed. Summer is over and with it has flown the feeling of lightness the bright and carefree August days bring.
But what is this ‘back to school’ feeling we all have at this time of year? Whether or not we are still tied to actual academic term times through work or children, it seems to be there. It may be ingrained in us from our own schooldays and the memories of new shoes and pristine pencil cases.read more
Yesterday morning, triggered by a bad night’s sleep and something that was going on outside (a sad and lonely dog in front of my building), I fell, out of the blue, into a quite depressive state. My old thoughts resurfaced: the amount of injustice and unhappiness everywhere is immeasurable, the only question is whether one wants to see it or not. I know, of course, that obsessing about it doesn’t take me anywhere, but sometimes I just don’t feel like protecting myself from it, because this is how things seem to be. Only, most people are usually too preoccupied with themselves to be bothered by such things.read more