27. Interest

There is strong empirical support(1) for the claim that interest (sometimes called the need for stimulation, exploratory drive, stimulus hunger – or simply escape from boredom) is one of the fundamental and universal drives among animals and humans. The term interest is used not only because it is more common than the other terms, but also because it has a wider (not limited only to sensations) and more appropriate meaning in relation to people.

Human interest does not depend only on external stimulation. Stimulation can also be internal, or of a different nature (spiritual interest, for example, may even require sensory deprivation). In any case, when this drive is not satisfied we experience a sense of boredom. Boredom is on the other side of the spectrum to interest, and can be an intense negative motivator so looking at it is worthwhile too. The aim of this area is to enable you to increase control over these related phenomena.

Boredom

Being in charge of boredom is important because boredom can make us do what we really don’t want to and can make us unhappy. So let’s examine first when we get bored.

When do we get bored?

Generally speaking there are two categories of such situations:

• We are bored because nothing is happening (‘I have nothing to do!’ feeling).
• We are bored because of what is happening (e.g. we feel that a task, movie, lecture, conversation, or activity is boring).

Before we consider these categories in more detail, it is important to remember that interest and boredom do not depend only on circumstances but also on ourselves: both are, to a large degree, in the ‘eyes of the beholder’.

We are bored because nothing is happening

The quickest escape when we have nothing to do is to turn to the mobile phone, computer or TV. However, if this becomes a habit, it narrows our options and, in time, it gets harder to beat boredom in this way. For example, you may turn to Facebook even if you know that this is a likely to be a waste of time, because nothing else comes to your mind.

However, the chance is that it will not remove the sense of boredom and will only increase your dissatisfaction. This is like going fishing in a swimming pool! So it may be worthwhile considering other options. As above, they can be grouped in two categories:

• Learn to enjoy doing nothing: sunbathing, daydreaming, meditating, sleeping, ‘cloud-spotting’ can all be enjoyable.
• Find something interesting to do: take the situation as an opportunity to discover something new and /or uncover your potentials. This consists of two steps as described in the following exercise (the reason why we don’t get there spontaneously is because we tend to skip the first step):

Finding something interesting to do:

• Brainstorm possibilities: list everything that can possibly be done without any judgement. For example, if doing the washing up comes to mind, don’t judge it at this stage, just put in on the list! There are many things that can be done even if you are locked in an empty room (yoga, exercises, solving a mental problem, trying to escape, rehearse a role or a speech, write a novel in your mind, etc.)
• Imagine doing each of these items on the list, how you will feel during and after (e.g. tidying may not be immediately appealing but you may feel great when you finish), and then make a choice. If anything grabs you while you are going through the list, just go for it!

We are bored because of what is happening

We have two options in this case too:

• We can either change the situation (e.g. leave a boring party or suggest something to make it more interesting).
• We can change our attitude, find a way to get interested.

When should we use the first option and when should we use the second one? This depends on worthwhileness. If the boring situation is also not worthwhile, changing the situation may be a good idea. However, if the situation is worthwhile, changing your attitude towards it may be better. Remember though that something that does not seem worthwhile or relevant now (e.g. physical exercise) may matter in the future. Also, a process, not only an end goal, may be worthwhile. For example, when we do crosswords, it is not the end result that is really important but exercising our brain and developing thinking skills.

Why do we get bored?

The reasons for getting bored may lie in us rather than in a situation. These are some of such reasons:

• being closed, refusing to engage;
• ignorance (e.g. a football match is boring for those who don’t understand the rules);
• self-importance (those who feel more important than anything or anybody else often feel bored);
• pretending that you are bored in order to leave an impression of being cool or superior, which can become a trap;
• positive expectations, because they attach you to the future and you are ignoring the present (e. g. if you are just waiting for a person you fancy to turn up at the party you may miss the fun and feel bored);
• negative expectations: deciding in advance that something or somebody will be boring can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

All the above depend on you. No situation is necessarily boring if you are willing to engage. So, give it a chance!

How to get interested

• Don’t be afraid of, and don’t allow yourself to be driven by boredom. Instead, take the situation as a challenge.
• Open up – the more you open up to the possibilities that a situation offers, the more likely it is that you will find something interesting (e.g. if you are bored waiting for a train, you may observe and study the people around you).
• Be curious: what can you learn, understand, explore or discover in a given situation?
• Engage with others (if appropriate).
• Be creative (e.g. doodle while listening to a lecture).
• Relax – lowering your arousal level will help you feel less bored (this is why people don’t get bored when sunbathing).
• Find a purpose or value in the situation.
• Be proactive: if you find a meeting boring, think about and ask an interesting question.
• Add imagination to spice up things: for example, imagine that you are a journalist who has to write an assignment or report. What would a journalist do to investigate the topic? How would she make it interesting?
• Be mindful: don’t get attached to your expectations (positive or negative) and try to be present, you may find that real life – which is always in the present – is not so bad after all!
• Find something that may be relevant to you (e.g. if you find Shakespeare boring, remember that somebody you fancy may be impressed with your knowledge of Shakespeare).
• Is there anything else you feel besides boredom? If so, try to locate and focus on an aspect of the situation that will amplify any positive feelings that you may have.
• Don’t try to rush through a boring activity – this increases boredom! Deliberately slow down instead. This may sound counterintuitive, but it works.
• If none of the above work for you just let it be. Boredom can spontaneously push us in a creative direction. A little bit of boredom occasionally may not be such a bad thing!

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(1) See, for example, Berlyne, D. E. (1960) Conflict, Arousal, and Curiosity. New York: McGraw-Hill. 

This area is not about changing your job, wallpaper, country or partner – it is about changing yourself; in other words, your habitual cognitive, emotional and behavioural patterns.

What do you want to change?

Being able to make a personal change is essential. So this chapter will be very practical and to get the most out of it, it may be a good idea to start by thinking about something that you would like to change. Choose something small because this increases your chances of success and confidence. Define what you want to achieve in simple, clear and positive terms (for example, rather than aiming to lose weight, aim to be fit or to look good).

Prerequisites for successful change

‘I can’, ‘I want’ and ‘I like’ are three conditions for successful change. If all three are present, you can hardly fail!

‘I can’: we are all capable of both failing and succeeding. If you believe that you can’t change, it is true; if you believe that you can, it is also true. To strengthen 'I can', think about successful changes that you have made in the past. If you can’t remember any, just consider that if others can change, you can change too.

‘I want’: you need to believe that the change is worth your time and effort. Filling in this table can help you make it clear:

Old pattern		New pattern
Advantages	Disadvantages	Advantages	Disadvantages

However, if wanting to change is only in your head, it may not be sufficient – the resolution needs to come from your gut. A half- hearted attempt is unlikely to succeed, so make sure that you really want to make a change. The stronger and deeper the feelings associated with the change are, the more profound the change will be. The following interventions can help in this respect.

Wanting change: imagine what your life will look like (in a few days, months or years) if you continue in the same direction. Then imagine vividly that you have changed. What will it look like? How will you feel? Which one is better? Nurture a sense that you can live well without the old habit by seeing life after the change in a positive light.

‘I like’: We can learn to like and dislike something. Nobody likes their first cigarette or first glass of vodka but some persist and learn to like it. If we can learn to like what is not good for us, we can learn to like what is. We can do so by associating a change with a good experience. For example, rather than forcing yourself to eat healthily, find a way to enjoy it: prepare a nice meal and/or add to it something that you already like (e.g. bacon bits, grated cheese, good company, or nice music – be creative!). You can combine this with growing a dislike for the old habit: associate it with unpleasant feelings. 'But', you may ask, 'what can I like if I just want to give up something (e.g. smoking)?' You can like being in charge and free (from the old habit); the benefits of the new (e.g. smelling good, breathing well); the company of likeminded people; yourself, your body, your mind, your life!

The stages of change

It is widely accepted that there are several stages of change(1). Here are some suggestions for each of them:

Learn about your habit

• Its causes: to examine the causes or reasons why you have a particular habit, imagine that you no longer do what you usually do – how do you feel? How can you address the underlying feeling that causes your habit?
• Its triggers: to locate its triggers, observe your habit without any interference. A trigger can be your state of mind, other people or certain events. Consider how they can be neutralised –what else could you do in a trigger situation?

Prepare

• Set an achievable, realistic goal. Bear in mind that a small change is better than a big failure.
• If you have succeeded in making a change in the past, recall what helped you then – the same or similar may help you now.
• Your old habit may be part of a larger picture (e.g. staying out late may be a part of your social life). In this case, you may need to do something about other parts too (e.g. friends who encourage you to stay out late).
• Be prepared for the fact that some people around you may not be supportive: think about who may want (perhaps unconsciously) to sabotage the change and what you can do about it. By the same token, consider who you can talk to or rely on if you are in danger of relapsing.
• Go back to the above table that compares the old pattern and the new one, and consider how you can compensate for the advantages of the former and the disadvantages of the latter.
• Decide if you will make a change gradually or in one go.
• Consider the timing (e.g. if you are taking exams next week, it may be better to make your change after that) and set the date.
• Attempt to make a change only when you feel ready. Are you 100% ready? If you are not, go back to the prerequisites.

Go for it

• Announce your intentions and ask others to support you.
• Stop negotiating with yourself (or you will lose it). Just do it!
• Dis-identify with what needs to be changed and identify with the new (e.g. if you wish to be more outgoing, stop thinking about yourself as a shy person). You can even mentally identify with an image that symbolises the change (e.g. a rock if you want to be more firm with your choices).

Persist

Persistence is essential in this process because old patterns tend to return out of habit. This may be the hardest part (as somebody once said: ‘It's easy to stop smoking, I do it twenty times a day’). However, persevering is worthwhile: in addition to the specific benefits, every successful change also increases your sense of personal power and control. This can help you to persist:

• Use a tempting situation as a reminder to stick to your goal.
• Catch yourself when tempted, acknowledge your feelings and thoughts, and then remember the consequences of backsliding (e.g. how you will feel tomorrow).
• It is much easier to relapse when excited, so be especially vigilant if you notice that you are getting keyed up.
• Use your imagination to put yourself off a temptation (e.g. imagine slime dripping on and covering a cake you fancy).
• Enjoy the new as well as its benefits, and appreciate your achievement (no false modesty, making a change is a big deal!)

If you relapse

If you experience a relapse, accept it as a temporary setback – you are defeated only if you give up! Be aware of what is going on though, as this may help you in the future. Establish why it has happened and develop a strategy for similar situations in the future. For example, if you had a cigarette because you were annoyed, think about what you will do instead the next time you get annoyed. A frequent reason for relapse is forgetting what you have decided. So, remember to remember!

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(1) Prochaska, J., Norcross, J. & Diclemente, C. (1994) Changing for Good. New York: Collins.