8. Moods

Moods are states of mind with a global effect on our thoughts, behaviour and feelings. Although moods can have a specific trigger, they are essentially unfocused (with no target). Some moods are pleasant (e.g. feeling happy, enthusiastic, powerful, etc.) and some are not (e.g. feeling depressed, moody, despondent, melancholic, etc.). We can’t command our moods at will, but we are not completely powerless about them either. It is important to take this on board. Research suggests that individuals who believe that negative moods can be relieved through their own actions are more likely to engage in problem-focused coping strategies and less likely to report depression and somatic complaints.’[i] So, let’s see what we can do to be more in charge of our moods.

 

Why moods matter

Good moods have a positive effect on mental and physical health, work and relationships. Some unpleasant moods may be useful, too. They can make us re-evaluate our lives and initiate change. They can also bring us closer to ourselves and help us discover personal depths. However, some moods can be problematic, especially if they are too intense or persist. Even pleasant ones can have some negative effects (e.g. they can leave an impression of superficiality or make us less likely to connect and empathise with others). Our mood can also affect how we see our situation: we tend to perceive or interpret it in a way that matches our mood (i.e. if you are in a bad mood, you are likely to see your situation in that light).[ii] In addition, we tend to unconsciously attract situations that will confirm our mood. A negative (unconstructive) mood tends to attract negative situations that, in turn, reinforce the mood, which can become a vicious circle. The longer this goes on, the more effort and persistence are needed to alter it, so it is important to address it as soon as possible.

 

The first step: awareness and acceptance

Ignoring or running away from our mood can sometimes be tempting, but it doesn’t do the trick. Moods affect us even if we turn a blind eye to them. It is observed that ‘although our moods may often escape our attention… they can nonetheless subtly insinuate themselves into our lives’.[iii] So, it is better to recognise and acknowledge that we are in a particular mood. This can help us identify triggers and make changes accordingly (e.g., if you notice that you are in a bad mood after eating certain foods, you may decide to change your diet). This does not mean dwelling on our moods, but making the first step in taking control.

 

Affecting intense or prolonged bad moods

Begin by identifying and, if possible, addressing the cause of your mood. Our moods can be affected by many factors: physiological (sleep, food, pain); environmental (crowding, noise, ambience); social (relationships); and psychological (thoughts, habits, behaviour). This exercise may help:

Why am I in a mood? Imagine life (it doesn’t matter if it is realistic or not) in which your mood vanished. Compare that life with your life as it is. The difference will tell you why you feel the way you feel. For example, if you imagine a life in which pets never die, you feel the way you feel because you don’t want to accept the impermanence of life.

Some causes may be complex or buried in the past, so if you can’t imagine life without being in a certain mood, ask for help. Knowing what is behind your mood can be helpful, even if you can’t change it, because you can change the way you think about it. Recognise beliefs and thoughts that prop your bad mood (e.g. ‘I wish I were a pop star’, ‘I will never find somebody to love me’, ‘I am good for nothing’). Then, you can lower your expectations and think in a more accepting/positive way about yourself and your life. Try also to find a sense of meaning and hope. This can have a profound effect on even long-lasting bad moods.

 

Affecting mild or transient bad moods

• Avoid ‘boom and bust’: food, cigarettes, drugs or alcohol are sometimes used to improve our moods, but they create ‘boom and bust’: you feel good for a while at the expense of feeling even worse when their effects wear off.
• Do nothing: just don’t make things worse. You may have noticed that the mind has a natural tendency to moderate our moods: so if you are in a very good mood, you may have, in the background, a ‘reality check’ of thoughts or feelings. The same happens when we are in a bad mood. Some ‘silver lining’ thoughts and feelings may spontaneously appear. Things go wrong when these secondary mental processes amplify rather than moderate our moods (bipolar condition being an extreme case). This is often consciously initiated at the beginning (we want to intensify our immediate state of mind), and then it goes out of control. So the trick here is to resist the temptation to make things even better or even worse and let the mind moderate and balance itself spontaneously.
• Use your imagination: the exercise below is an example of how imagination can be used to change your mood:

Altering moods: close your eyes and relax. Create a mental image that represents your mood (e.g. a cloudy, gloomy day). Then slowly alter the image into one that is desirable (e.g. a sunny, clear sky). This exercise is more effective if the change is gradual, so don’t rush.

• Entertainment (good films, books or music) that you can immerse yourself in. Just flicking through TV channels or websites won’t do, and it can make your mood worse.
• Do something interesting or something that will give you a sense of progress and achievement (e.g. playing a sport or an instrument, writing, studying, making something, etc.).
• Socialise: others can be very effective in lifting your mood (but be aware that they might have the opposite effect too).
• Help others: this is one of the most effective mood changers.

 

Creating a desirable state of mind/good mood

Just getting rid of an unwanted mood may not be enough. So, let’s see how we can actually create a good state of mind:

• Match your posture, behaviour, and thinking with a desired state of mind. For example, if you want to be in a confident state, adopt the posture, behaviour and thinking associated with it. If you persist, they can bring about the state you want.
• Recall a situation when you were in the state of mind you wish to be and allow that feeling to flood over you again. You can do so in your imagination, or you can talk or write about it.
• Create the environment that reflects the state of mind you want (e.g. if you want peace of mind, clear the clutter in your room or make a habit of going to a park for a walk).
• We tend to focus more on bad things than good ones because they may need our attention, but that can increase bad moods. The following exercise can help address this imbalance:

The three good things: before going to sleep, think of or write down three good things that have happened that day (e.g. somebody smiled at you, you smiled at somebody, the weather was nice, you felt healthy). Do this for a week (no longer, to avoid making an empty routine out of it).

How to maintain a good mood

• Physical activity, healthy eating and good sleep are essential.
• Prepare for possible challenges. What will you do if somebody or something tries to undermine your state of mind (e.g. you are in a mood to do some work and the phone starts ringing)?
• Moods are often triggered by generalising from a single experience. For example, your partner upsets you over breakfast. Then you project that brief, localised emotion onto other people and situations (friends, work, life in general), creating a lasting bad mood. To prevent spoiling your mood in that way, remember that it is you who is generalising and prepare in advance what you can say to yourself when tempted (e.g. “I am going to enjoy my day despite this silly argument”).

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[i] Salovey, P., Hsee, C. K. and Mayer, J.D. (1993) ‘Emotional Intelligence and the Self-regulation of Affect’ in Wegner, D. and Pennebaker, J. (eds) Handbook of Mental Control. Englewood Cliffs: Prentice Hall, p.264.
[ii], S. (1993) ‘Moods, Emotion Episodes and Emotions’ in Lewis, M and Haviland J. Handbook of Emotions. New York, London: Guilford Press, p. 384.
[iii] Morris, W. (1989) Moods, the Frame of Mind. New York: Springer-Verlag, p.2.