Dependence is used here as an umbrella term that covers co- dependence, inter-dependence and independence. Concepts that closely relate to our social (in)dependence, loneliness and solitude, will also be addressed with an emphasis on their difference.

Co-dependence

Co-dependence refers to dependence on the needs or the control of another person. It usually involves somebody who places a lower priority on their own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. This is often accompanied by low self- esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns. Co-dependence can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and intimate relationships. These are asymmetrical relationships, in which one is helping or caring for the other (e.g. an alcoholic partner) in order to keep or control them. In other words a co-dependent relationship perpetuates a status quo so as to remain needed. If you recognise such patterns in some of your relationships, you do not necessarily need to end them, but it would be healthier for all involved to at least address the issue.

Inter-dependence

Inter-dependence, on the other hand, means cooperating with others. It can also be defined as the interconnectedness and reliance on another physically, emotionally, socially, or economically. While co-dependence may not be healthy, inter- dependence is valuable and important. We all depend on others to some degree: children depend on their carers for food and shelter or on teachers to learn; adults are also dependent on public services or other family members. In fact, we are inter-dependent with just about everything and everybody, even with people we don’t know from different parts of the globe (as they may be producing something that we need).

Perceiving one’s life and actions as meaningful is a universal need but, as we will discuss below, meaning cannot be generalised (what is meaningful for one person may not be for another). So this area will focus on what can give us the sense of meaning, the scope of meaning, and the closely related concept of commitment.

Two types of meaning

There are two types of meaning, which are often confused with each other, so let’s clarify the difference between them:

• The meaning of life: this is the big one that relates to the question of whether life in general has a purpose, whether or not there is an overall plan. If there is, it is not up to us to make it but to find it. This type of meaning is usually associated with a divine creator, so many religious people believe that there is a meaning of life while many atheists believe that there is not.
• Meaning in life is a meaning that each individual can create for themselves. While meaning of life may be debatable, there is no doubt that we can all have meaning in life. However, as we create that meaning ourselves, very different things can be meaningful for different people (while the former would be the same for everybody). We will focus here only on meaning in life (the meaning of life is discussed in The Synthesis book)(1).

Why a sense of meaning matters

A number of psychologists assert that we require meaning to survive.(2) The most frequent reason given for suicide is that the person has no purpose for which to continue living.(3) A sense of meaning can help us cope with difficulties (as the above quote sums up well); research shows that people who report a stronger sense of the purpose of their lives remain healthier in the face of stress.(4) Moreover, a feeling that one’s life has some meaning is also correlated with happiness.(5)